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ADHD Self-Care: Why Bubble Baths Are BS (And 11 Easy Tips That Actually Work)

Another day, another "you can't pour from an empty cup."

Originally aired on How to Be a Grownup: A Humorous Guide for Moms


Let me guess: Someone told you to try meditation for your ADHD, and you wanted to throw something. Or maybe you attempted that whole "just take a relaxing bubble bath" advice and ended up more anxious than when you started, sitting in lukewarm water, wondering why everyone else finds this so magical.


Here's the truth bomb: Traditional self-care wasn't designed for ADHD brains. Those peaceful practices that work for neurotypical people? They can feel like actual torture when your brain runs at warp speed.


But here's what nobody tells you: Self-care for ADHD isn't optional. It's not some luxury you get to when you have time. It's essential neurological maintenance, like changing the oil in your car. Skip it, and everything falls apart.


Quick reminder: We're not therapists or wellness gurus. We're just two women sharing what actually works when your brain operates on a different frequency.

Colored pencils on a floral coloring page with text overlay: "ADHD Self-Care: Why Bubble Baths Are BS and 11 Tips That Actually Work. ADHD Series."

Key Takeaways From This Episode

  • Why traditional self-care fails ADHD brains – And why it's not your fault that meditation feels like punishment

  • Seven science-backed strategies that actually work – From flexible routines to strategic movement and protein timing

  • The sleep game-changer – Recent research on what really disrupts ADHD sleep (hint: it's not just screen time)

  • "Unhinged" self-care hacks we actually use – Face masks to trick yourself into showering, adding completed tasks to your to-do list, and why Tetris after stress is scientifically legit

  • How to eliminate "should" from your vocabulary – And why small moments of joy aren't luxuries, they're essential maintenance

Listen to the Episode Here


This.

Why Traditional Self-Care Feels Like Punishment


There are three main reasons why standard self-care advice makes ADHD brains revolt:


  1. It's boring as hell. If an activity is boring, it doesn't just feel unpleasant for someone with ADHD—it can feel genuinely painful. Sitting still in silence isn't peaceful; it's excruciating.

  2. Out of sight, out of mind. That beautiful self-care routine you planned? You forgot about it the moment you walked out of the room where you wrote it down.

  3. The guilt spiral. After years of being called "lazy" or told you're "not trying hard enough," taking time for yourself feels selfish. So you don't. Then you burn out. Then you feel worse.


Sound familiar? Let's fix this.


What ADHD Self-Care Actually Looks Like

1. Flexible Routines (Yes, Really)

I know, I know. "Routines" and "ADHD" sound like oil and water. But here's the thing: your brain craves structure, even if it rebels against rigidity.


Create loose frameworks that include work, leisure, exercise, and rest each day. The keyword is flexible. Maybe Monday's routine looks completely different from Thursday's. That's not failure—that's adaptation.


2. Movement That Actually Feels Good

Forget the gym if it makes you miserable. ADHD brains need movement to release excess energy and boost dopamine, but it doesn't have to be intense exercise.


Try dancing in your kitchen, taking walking meetings, or just fidgeting with something in your hands during calls. The goal is movement that feels natural, not forced.


3. Sleep (But Make It Make Sense)

Poor sleep makes every ADHD symptom worse. But here's where it gets interesting: recent research suggests it's not screen time before bed that's the problem for ADHD brains—it's dopamine-triggering activities.


Comfort-watching The Office for the 47th time? Probably fine. Scrolling through social media or online shopping? That's what's keeping you up. Your brain is getting reward hits instead of winding down.


4. Protein Is Your Friend

When you need a quick dopamine hit, you probably reach for something sugary. But protein actually helps your body produce the neurotransmitters your ADHD brain is craving.

Add some protein to your snacks and meals. Your focus will thank you later.


5. Sensory Resets

Traditional mindfulness might make you want to crawl out of your skin, but sensory check-ins can work wonders. Keep sour candy, crunchy snacks, or ice packs handy to interrupt emotional spirals or overstimulation.


It's like hitting a reset button for your nervous system.


6. Find Your People

Surround yourself with people who get it. You need safe spaces where you don't have to mask or people-please. Whether that's other ADHD parents, online communities, or that one friend who doesn't judge you for showing up 15 minutes late—these relationships are essential maintenance.


7. Ditch the "Shoulds"

The word "should" carries shame. "I should be more organized." "I should remember things better." "I should be able to focus."


What if you replaced "should" with "could" or just dropped it entirely? Your brain will immediately feel lighter.



The "Unhinged" Self-Care Hacks That Actually Work

Here are some unconventional strategies we've tried ourselves:


Face masks to trick yourself into showering. Sometimes the sensory experience of a face mask is what gets you into the bathroom, and once you're there, you might as well shower.


Add completed tasks to your to-do list. That dopamine hit from checking something off? You deserve it for the things you've already accomplished.


Play Tetris after stressful events. This isn't just fun—there's actual research showing it can help prevent trauma from sticking. Your brain gets to organize something while processing stress.


Hyperfocus permission slips. When you're in hyperfocus mode on something you love, lean in (as long as it's not causing harm). Your brain knows what it needs sometimes.


The Joy Factor

Here's your daily prescription: one moment of joy. Not a huge thing—maybe it's your favorite song, a funny meme, or the way your coffee tastes perfect. Joy isn't a luxury for ADHD brains; it's essential fuel.


The Bottom Line

Your ADHD self-care won't look like anyone else's, and that's not just okay—it's necessary. The goal isn't perfection or following someone else's routine. It's finding what works for your unique brain and doing it without guilt.


Some days you'll nail it. Other days you'll forget everything and survive on coffee and determination. Both are valid. Both are enough.


Stop trying to force yourself into neurotypical self-care boxes. Your brain deserves strategies that actually work, not ones that make you feel broken when they don't.

Want more real-talk advice for ADHD brains? Join us on "How to Be a Grownup: A Humorous Guide for Moms" for practical strategies that actually make sense when your brain runs on a different operating system. Listen wherever you get your podcasts and remember—you're not broken, just different.


Make good choices,

Caitlin & Ariella

Sources for this episode


Who We Are

Caitlin is joined by Ariella Monti, novelist and friend. Together they're diving into self-care that actually makes sense for ADHD brains—no sitting still required. They're not wellness gurus or mental health professionals, just two women sharing what actually works when your brain runs on a different operating system.



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