Parenting With ADHD: 5 Ways ADHD Makes Good Parents Feel Like Bad Ones
- Caitlin Kindred
- Aug 16
- 4 min read
When Your Brain and Your Kids Team Up Against You (And How to Fight Back)
If you've ever found yourself explaining to your child why the cereal boxes are organized by color but you can't find your car keys, this one's for you. Welcome to parenting with ADHD.
Key Takeaways From This Episode
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Parenting with ADHD: When Your Brain and Your Kids Team Up Against You
Originally aired on How to Be a Grownup: A Humorous Guide for Moms
Let's be honest: parenting is hard enough when your brain cooperates. Add ADHD into the mix, and suddenly you're playing life on expert mode while everyone else seems to have the cheat codes.
If you're a parent with ADHD, you know the struggle is real. Parenting requires the daily execution of repetitive tasks—think laundry, meal prep, bedtime routines—which all demand executive functioning. Meanwhile, our ADHD symptoms, like inattention, impulsivity, and emotional dysregulation, are over here like, "Hold my coffee, I've got some chaos to create."
From managing household "stuff" to navigating relationships with our kids, ADHD affects everything about the way we parent. But here's the thing: we're not broken, and we're definitely not alone. So let's laugh through the mess and share some real-life hacks that actually work.
Quick disclaimer: We're not therapists or mental health professionals—we're just two moms doing our best and sharing what we've learned along the way.
The Classic ADHD Parent Challenges (And How to Actually Fix Them)
1. "Wait, What Was I Doing?"
What it looks like: Working memory glitches plus kid interruptions equals finding a peanut butter spoon in your bathroom and having absolutely no memory of how it got there.
The fix:
Body doubling: Call a friend while doing chores. Having someone on the line creates a distraction shield that somehow makes everything easier.
Task anchors: Pair routines with sensory cues. Always unload the dishwasher while your coffee brews, or fold laundry while your favorite playlist runs.
"I Forgot to Adult" (Again)
What it looks like: Missed dentist appointments (yours AND your kid's), unpaid bills, and that moment when you realize you've fed everyone except yourself... again.
The fix:
Stop relying on willpower or memory! Use visual cues, calendars, timers, whiteboards, family calendars—anything that can do the thinking and reminding for you.
Automate or delegate: Set up auto-pay for bills, or find another ADHD parent to trade tasks with ("You call the dentist, I'll schedule your kid's haircut").
Time Blindness Meets Tiny Time-Sucking Tyrants
What it looks like: School starts in 5 minutes? Cool, cool, definitely enough time to deep-clean the fridge and reorganize the pantry.
The fix:
Actually measure time: Estimate how long a task will take, then time yourself doing it. Do this multiple times to get an accurate baseline.
Reverse clocks: Set alarms for "Oh sh*t, get dressed" time, then "Must leave NOW" time.
Outsource timekeeping: Train your kid to shout, "Mom, your watch beeped!" when the timer goes off. They love having a job, and you get a backup alarm system.
The Overstimulation Meltdown
What it looks like: Kids arguing plus dog barking plus why are the lights so loud and why does everything have a texture today?
The fix:
Tap out system: Create a code with your partner so they know when you've hit your limit. "I'm at sock-throwing level" is universally understood.
Emergency sensory kit: Noise-canceling headphones, sour candy, and a laminated card that reads "Mom is rebooting." Sometimes you need to give yourself permission to step away.
Emotional Rollercoaster Parenting
What it looks like: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) meets Mom Guilt: "I yelled about shoes → I'm the worst mother → wait, why am I crying over footwear?"
The fix:
Co-regulate: Show your child what it looks like to take a breath, pause, and reset. They're watching how you handle big emotions.
Repair scripts: "I'm sorry I got frustrated. My brain was overwhelmed. Let's try again." Kids are surprisingly understanding when you're honest.
Name your RSD: I call mine "Gladys the Guilt Gremlin." It's hard to take catastrophic thinking seriously when you're like, "Oh, look, Gladys is spiraling again." (Shut up, Gladys, omg.)
Don't Forget Your ADHD Superpowers
Before you get too deep in the struggle, remember that ADHD comes with some pretty amazing parent perks:
You're a Hyperfocus Ninja: You can assemble a 500-piece LEGO set with your kid at 2 AM and genuinely enjoy every minute.
You're a Master of Distraction Diversion: "Wait, let's research why sloths are slow instead of cleaning!" (It still counts as learning, right?)
You're an Empathy Champion: "You forgot your homework? Welcome to my world, kiddo. Let's figure this out together."
The Bottom Line
Here's what I want every ADHD parent to know: Your systems will fail. Your keys will vanish into the void. Sometimes dinner will be cereal, and that's okay.
But your kids? They're learning resilience, creativity, and how to laugh through chaos. These are actual life skills that will serve them well in the real world.
You're not failing. You're adapting. And honestly, that's pretty impressive.
The best thing you can do for yourself and your child is to give yourself grace. There's no such thing as a perfect parent—ADHD or not. When you make mistakes (and you will, because you're human), use it as an opportunity to model accountability, resilience, and self-compassion.
Your kids don't need a perfect parent, anyway. They need a real one. And that's exactly what you're giving them.
Find "How to Be a Grownup: A Humorous Guide for Moms" wherever you get your podcasts, and remember—you're doing better than you think.
Sources for this episode
ADDitude Mag
Creators
Dr. Steve Storage @drstevenstorage on Instagram
Who We Are
When she's not writing, you can find Ariella Monti teaching yoga or being a chaos garden fairy in her yard. Caitlin Kindred is probably behind her computer screen, working on podcast content and getting distracted by literally everything.
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