What Does "Festive Attire" Even Mean? Decoding Holiday Party Dress Codes
- Caitlin Kindred
- Dec 8, 2024
- 6 min read
Updated: Dec 8, 2025
What to wear so you don't end up on the naughty list
Ever gotten a holiday party invite that says "dress casual" and immediately spiraled into an outfit crisis?
Does casual mean jeans? Nice jeans? A sundress? Business casual? College casual?
What even IS casual?
Or worse—you see "festive attire" and have absolutely no idea if that means sequins, ugly sweaters, or a cocktail dress with holiday colors.
Here's the thing: dress codes are confusing, ambiguous, and honestly? Half the time the host doesn't even know what they're asking for.
We're breaking down every dress code from casual to white tie so you never have to panic-Google "what to wear" 20 minutes before you need to leave.
What you get from this episode
What casual, dressy casual, business, cocktail, semi-formal, black tie optional, black tie, and white tie actually mean (with real examples), and how fabrics, straps, and structure change formality levels
Quick rules for shoes, socks, and seasonal accessories that matter
Why "festive" and "holiday" dress codes are traps—and what to do about them
Simple scripts to ask the host about expectations without feeling awkward
The party-hopping rule
PLUS! Tips for hosts: how to write clear invitations with examples and tone-setting language
Listen here
The Ultimate Guide to Decoding Holiday Party Dress Codes
Before We Start: The One Question That Prevents Wardrobe Regrets
Here's what you can really just do: Ask the host.
Seriously. Text them and say, "Hey, I'm thinking of wearing [describe outfit]. What are other people wearing?"
Or if you know someone else going to the event who's closer with the host, make them ask. Problem solved.
Also: If you're party-hopping and going to multiple events in one day, always dress for the fancier one. You can say "Oh, I'm overdressed because I have another event after this" (even if that event is your couch and Netflix).
Okay, now let's decode these dress codes.
Want our free Dress Code Cheat Sheet?
Download it here so you never have to decode an invitation again.
Casual
What it actually means: Informal, comfortable, but clean and professional.
What it does NOT mean: Your grass-mowing jeans and a ratty t-shirt.
I learned this the hard way. Someone told me an event was "very casual" so I showed up in college casual (jeans and a t-shirt) and immediately realized that was NOT what casual meant. I was uncomfortable the entire time.
For Women:
Sundress or skirt
Nice jeans (no holes, good shape) or chino/khaki pants
Depending on location/weather: dressier shorts
Solid color tee, polo, or casual button-down blouse
For Men:
Chino/khaki pants or good-looking jeans (not the ones you mowed the grass in)
If jeans are more than 5 years old and you wear them daily, leave them home
Depending on climate: dressier shorts (maybe ironed)
Solid color shirt, polo, or best option: shirt with buttons and collar
Shoes: sandals, sneakers, or loafers depending on pants
If sandals: leather or similar material, NOT plastic flip-flops
Pro tip: If it's a casual backyard barbecue in August in Texas, a tank top is fine. If it's a casual wedding, cover your shoulders.
Dressy Casual (AKA Business Casual)
What it means: Think work clothes for a networking event. You're meeting people for the first time but not interviewing. Sunday best. Dress to impress.
For Women:
Skirt or dressy top
Dressy pants outfit
Nice jeans and a cute top (everyone's favorite)
Dress that's NOT strapless or spaghetti straps (thicker straps are fine)
For Men:
Chino-style pants, probably ironed
Dress shirt or polo with open collar (no tie needed)
Sport coat if the weather calls for it
Business (AKA Business Formal)
What it means: You're going to a grown-up job interview.
What to wear: A suit. For everyone.
Women can interchange a suit with a structured dress.
My rule: Would a news anchor wear this at 5pm? That's business.
Semi-Formal or Cocktail (These Are The Same Thing)
Most people don't know these are interchangeable, but they are.
Rule: If the event is after 6pm (or after 5pm if you're old school), lean fancier.
For Women:
Little black dress (LBD)
Shorter cocktail dress
Long skirt with more casual top (like an oversized sweater—SO good for this time of year)
Dressy separates
Cool jumpsuit
This is your LBD moment
For Men:
Full suit and tie
Dark suit: charcoal, navy, or black
Note: Many men skip black suits unless it's business or a funeral, so go with dark gray or navy
Dress shoes and socks that match your pants (but personality socks are perfect here)
Fun tie is okay, depending on the event (if you're a plus-one, skip the fun tie)
My personal rule:
Semi-formal = happy hour vibes.
Cocktail = after 6pm.
But they're technically the same thing.
Black Tie Optional
What this really means: The host is hoping you'll show up in a tux, but they're giving you an out if you don't have one.
For Women:
Floor-length evening gown OR
Very dressy cocktail dress
If you go LBD, make sure shoes and handbag are DRESSY
Dressy separates or jumpsuit elevated to gown level
For Men:
They're requesting a tuxedo
If you don't wear a tux: dark suit, white shirt, very conservative neutral tie, leather shoes, dark socks
Basically: dress as close to a tux as possible
Holiday or Festive (THE TRAP)
Here's the problem: This is ambiguous. Nobody knows what this means.
According to Emily Post, "holiday" or "festive" means cocktail dress—semi-formal range.
BUT the host might be thinking ugly sweater party.
You MUST check with the host because they might be thinking New Year's Eve gala and you'll show up in a light-up Rudolph sweater.
If the invitation says "holiday casual" or "festive sweater," great. If it just says "festive" with no other context? Text the host immediately.
Black Tie
What it means: More formal than business. Most common formal dress code because it's easily defined.
For Women:
Floor-length gown OR
The dressiest cocktail dress you own
Most of the time, hosts expect floor-length
Note: You do NOT need gloves for black tie.
For Men:
Tuxedo
White shirt
Black bow tie (you can wear a themed bow tie that fits your personality—like the socks—but it should still be formal)
Tropical exception: If it's a black tie event in the tropics or on a cruise, men can wear a white jacket instead of black.
Personal opinion from Jenny: White jacket tuxes make you look like a cater waiter. But if that's your thing, you do you.
White Tie (Full Evening Dress)
What it means: The most formal dress code. Think My Fair Lady. Tiara and gloves territory.
Who's there: Guests might be royal or receiving high honors. This is hoity-toity.
For Everyone:
Tuxedo or floor-length evening gown
No other options
For Women:
Floor-length gown
Optional: long opera-length gloves
This is where you wear real jewels (demure, mindful costume jewelry is okay if you don't have diamonds)
For Men:
Tuxedo, possibly with tails
White bow tie
White vest
Gloves
If you're royal or have a sash, wear it
If you're invited to a white tie event, you know you're seeing someone fabulous.
Tips for Hosts: Stop Torturing Your Guests
If you're hosting, please don't be cute with:
"Backyard formal"
"Parisian semi-casual"
"Tropical black tie casual"
These mean NOTHING. Do you hear me?
These.
Mean.
NOTHING.
What to do instead:
Provide examples. If you have a specific theme like "après-ski formal," show pictures of outfits. Sequins with ski goggles. Puffer vest with cocktail dress. Give people visuals.
Give context about the event. "Semi-formal garden party" tells people it's outside so they can dress accordingly (sweater instead of a strapless dress).
Use language that reflects formality:
"Join us for a family barbecue" = casual
"The honor of your presence is requested" = fancy
"Let's ring in the new year together" = casual/comfortable
"Please join us as we elegantly ring in the new year" = I'm wearing heels
Tell them what YOU'RE wearing. "I'm wearing my ugly Christmas sweater—bring yours too!" makes it crystal clear.
The Bottom Line
All of this was kind of a waste of your time because really, you just need to ask the host.
But if you want to understand what they SHOULD be telling you, now you know.
And if you're hosting? Make it easy on your guests. Clear communication prevents the horror of showing up in sequins to an ugly sweater party (or vice versa).
Quick Reference: Dress Code Hierarchy
From most casual to most formal:
Casual
Dressy Casual/Business Casual
Business/Business Formal
Semi-Formal/Cocktail
Black Tie Optional
Holiday/Festive (ambiguous—always ask)
Black Tie
White Tie/Full Evening Dress
Want our free Dress Code Cheat Sheet?
Download it here so you never have to decode an invitation again.
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Make good choices,
Caitlin & Jenny
Sources for this episode
Who We Are
Caitlin brings her signature blend of humor and practical advice to help overwhelmed moms navigate the challenges of adulting—including not showing up to parties in the wrong outfit. With Jenny, who loves sequins, understands formality levels, and won't judge you for asking "wait, what does tropical black tie mean?"
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