Nonviolent Civic Engagement for Moms: Raising Humans Who Care Loudly and Safely

Last week, my kid asked me, "Mom, if you're mad at someone's rules, are you allowed to be mean to them?"

And I had to stop and think about how to answer that.

Because here's the thing: I AM mad at a lot of rules right now. I'm mad at policies that hurt people.

I'm mad at decisions that feel cruel and unnecessary. And I want my kid to see me stand up and speak out.

But I also don't want to teach them that anger equals permission to dehumanize people.

So this week's episode is about nonviolent civic engagement—what it actually means, what it looks like when you have kids, and how to do it.

Listen to the Full Episode

What Nonviolent Civic Engagement Actually Means

At its core, it's this: Speaking up, organizing, and pressuring decision makers in ways that avoid physical harm, respect laws, and still challenge injustice.

This is Dr. King's legacy. And that of so many others. It's the sit-ins, the marches, the organizing—all grounded in the belief that you can stand firm without tearing people down.

And here's what I love about this framework: Nonviolence is both a strategy AND a value you can practice with your kids.

It's not just about what you do at a protest. It's about how you talk about people you disagree with. How you show up at meetings. How you handle conflict at home.

Turning Nonviolence Into a Family Value

You can name this explicitly for your kids:

"Our family believes in standing up for what's right without hurting people, even when we're really mad."

And then you back it up with house rules, like these:

• We don't call people trash, even when we hate their policies

• We can walk away, cool off, and come back later

• We use our words, our choices (votes, money, time), and our presence instead of violence

These aren't abstract ideals. They're skills you practice during sibling squabbles so your kids are ready when the stakes are higher.

From-the-Couch Options (For Low-Spoons Weeks)

Real change can happen from your couch. Seriously.

Letters & Emails

Written comments to school boards and local officials actually influence policy. Let little kids draw a picture or sign their name. Older kids can add a sentence: "As a student, I want my library to have lots of different books."

Phone Calls

Use a simple script (your name, district, clear ask, one reason). Let kids hear you read it on speaker. Explain afterward what you did. (I have copy-and-paste scripts for you in this blog post!)

Donations & Mutual Aid

Small recurring contributions—diapers, food, money—are solidarity. Have your kid choose an item for the food pantry, then let them carry it to the drop-off. That tactile role turns abstract care into something they can feel.

Petitions & Public Comments

Official comment periods, surveys, petitions—all nonviolent tools that influence local decisions.

None of these require a protest sign or childcare. And they all count.

Bring-Your-Kid Options (For When You Have More Energy)

When you're ready to step into family-friendly public spaces, here's what that looks like:

Schools

Attend a school board or PTO meeting. Speak during public comment with respectful language (even when you strongly oppose a policy—trust me, I know how hard this is).

Frame it for your kids: "We're going to see how grown-ups make decisions about your school."

Give them a job: Count how many people speak. Draw a picture to give to a supportive teacher.

Libraries

Attend library board meetings, especially when book challenges are on the agenda.

Show up to inclusive story times, author events, or pride-friendly programming. Those numbers matter. Libraries track attendance to make decisions about future programming.

Talk afterward about why you chose that event.

Mutual Aid

Help with community drives, food distributions, supply drop-offs.

Let kids help pack bags, draw cards, or carry donations. It's simple work, but it's real.

Safety First (Because You're a Parent, Not a Martyr—or a Dummy)

Stick to events organized by known groups—school districts, libraries, local organizations.

Follow their safety instructions. Have a meetup spot. Stay together.

And here's the thing nobody tells you: Prepare your kids for strong emotions they might witness.

Someone might be ranting. Someone might be swearing. Someone might be completely unhinged.

Remind your kids: "Our family doesn't respond with harm. But if something doesn't feel safe, we leave. We can always help another way."

What About Protests?

If you're ready for higher-capacity civic engagement, here's how to keep it nonviolent and kid-aware:

Go with established, peaceful groups that have clear guidelines and marshals.

Know your local laws about public assembly.

Decide ahead of time when you'll leave. Maybe at the first sign of escalation. Maybe after 30 minutes. Whatever works for your family.

Tell your kids the rule: "If something doesn't feel safe, we leave."

And remember: Seasons change. If protests feel like too much right now, go back to letters, calls, and donations. It's all engagement.

Canvassing With Kids (If You're Into That)

I'll be honest: this isn't my favorite to do with kids. But it can be done.

Canvassing is about relationship-building, not confrontation. Kids can drop literature or say hi at doors if they're comfortable (they don't have to).

The key is modeling listening and respect, even when you face disagreement. Because that will happen.

Your Simple Plan

Here's what I want you to do:

1. Pick one from-the-couch action (letter, call, donation, petition)

2. Pick one bring-your-kid action (meeting, story time, food drive)

3. Do them this month

That's it. That's the whole assignment.

Put them on your calendar. Name them. Make them real.

The Goal Is Caring Humans

The goal isn't to raise kids who are exhausted by fifth grade because you dragged them to every protest and meeting.

The goal is to raise humans who know how to care for one another loudly and safely.

One email. One meeting. One food drive. One vote at a time.

Especially when they see YOU doing it.

Consistency beats intensity. When kids see us act with courage and kindness, they learn that civic power can be firm, calm, and contagious.

Listen to the full episode for more specific examples, safety tips, and scripts you can use.

Resources

• Introduction to Practicing Nonviolence with Children: A Resource for Families and Teachers (PDF) | The Peace Resource Center of San Diego

• A Parent’s Guide to School Board Advocacy | ACLU of Texas

• Understanding Public Education Advocacy: A Guide for Parents and Educators | Texas Public Education Defense Fund

• Contact Your Representatives | Save Texas Schools (simple “copy, edit, send” letter/email guidance)

• ​Advocacy in Action: A Guide to Establishing and Running a Special Education Parent Advisory Council | National SEPAC 

• How to Help Your Community with Mutual Aid | Public Health Degrees

• How to Get Involved in a Mutual Aid Network | SignUp.com 

• How to Create a Mutual Aid Network | American Friends Service Committee

Tell Us What You Need

What topic would you like to see next? I'm thinking media literacy, but I want your input. Hit the "send me a text" link in the show notes and let me know.

You can do hard things. Love you, mean it,

Caitlin