Could Your Silent Struggles Be Undiagnosed ADHD? What All Women Need to Know

Racing Thoughts, Missing Keys & Time Blindness: 10 Truths About ADHD in Women

Ever lose your phone while holding it? Start ten projects and finish none? Or hyper-fixate on Pope Leo’s baseball fandom at 2 AM? 👀 Welcome to the ADHD club, friend. In this episode, Caitlin and Ariella (a fellow "elder millennial with a PhD in awesome") break down what ADHD really looks like in women—and why so many of us are just now figuring it out.

What You Get From This Episode

1. ADHD 101: It’s not "squirrel syndrome"—it’s erratic brain Wi-Fi, y’all.

2. Overlooked Signs in Women: Perfectionism masking chaos, time blindness ("I’ll be ready in 5 minutes" = lies), and why you cry over spilled milk (then apologize to the dog).

3. The Diagnosis Gap: Why girls fly under the radar (hint: society hates feral women).

4. "Wait, That’s ADHD?!" From losing your keys in your hand to winning shower arguments that never happened.

5. Why It’s Everywhere Now: TikTok, pandemics, Millennial parenting, and Gen Z’s refusal to suffer in silence.

Listen Here

ADHD in Women: Why You're Not Lazy, Crazy, or Broken (Just Misunderstood)

For years, ADHD was seen as the "hyperactive little boy" disorder. This perception left millions of women wondering: Why do I feel like my brain has 47 browser tabs open while someone else controls the mouse?

If you’ve ever:

✔️ Put your keys in the fridge (or lost them while holding them)

✔️ Been called "too sensitive" when criticism felt physically painful

✔️ Nailed a work crisis but couldn’t fold laundry to save your life

✔️ Hyperfocused on reorganizing the pantry at 2 AM instead of sleeping

...you might be part of the "late-diagnosed ADHD women" club (membership: growing rapidly).

ADHD Isn’t What You Think

It’s not just:

❌ Can’t sit still

❌ Bad at focusing

❌ A childhood disorder you outgrow

It is:

💡 A neurodevelopmental condition that affects how your brain regulates attention (not whether you have attention)

💡 Caused by differences in dopamine and norepinephrine (your brain’s "get stuff done" chemicals)

💡 Often inherited—so if your kid has it, you might too (hi, fellow mom-diagnosis club!)

How ADHD Really Shows Up in Women

While boys bounced off walls, many of us learned to mask our chaos with perfectionism. The signs were there, just quieter:

Common (Overlooked) Symptoms

• Time blindness: "I’ll be ready in 5 minutes" = a lie you tell yourself daily

• Object permanence issues: Out of sight = out of mind (RIP to the groceries left in the car)

• Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD): When a friend’s vague text sends you into a spiral of "they hate me"

And a Few More...

• Racing thoughts: Your brain’s playlist shuffles between three conversations, a grocery list, and that thing you forgot in 2012

• Hyperfocus: Suddenly, it’s 4 AM, and you’ve crocheted a blanket but forgot to pee

• Emotional rollercoasters: Crying over spilled milk (literally) because your nervous system’s volume knob is stuck on "loud"

Why Were We Missed?

1. Research bias: Studies focused on hyperactive boys for decades.

2. Social conditioning: Girls were praised for being "quiet daydreamers" (aka undiagnosed inattentive ADHD).

3. Misdiagnosis: Labeled "anxious," "depressed," or "just hormonal" instead.

The Good News

You’re not failing at life—your brain just works differently. Now that we know more, women are getting diagnosed in droves (especially in their 30s/40s!) because:

• TikTok made it relatable (finally, someone gets it!)

• Pandemic disruptions shattered our coping mechanisms

• Mom-diagnosis domino effect: "Wait, my kid’s ADHD evaluation sounds like me..."

What Helps?

🔹 Seek a specialist (look for someone who understands ADHD in women)

🔹 Progress > perfection: Did you feed the kids? Gold star. Fed them cereal for dinner? Still counts.

🔹 Systems over shame: Use phone reminders, visual to-do lists, and accept that "put it where you’ll see it" is valid organization.

Embracing Your Unique Brain

ADHD in women is often misunderstood. The challenges we face can feel isolating. However, understanding our brains can empower us. Accepting your ADHD is just the start. Try techniques that suit your unique style of thinking. Find support groups and share experiences. Knowing you’re not alone can be incredibly freeing.

To the woman reading this while avoiding laundry/emails/that one task:

You’re not alone. You’re not broken. And yes—losing your phone while holding it is an ADHD thing—I would know.

Need more? Check out these ADHD-friendly resources:

• @ADHDoers on Instagram for memes that hurt (in a good way)

• How to ADHD on YouTube for science-backed tips

• Our podcast episode: "ADHD in Women: The Late Diagnosis Epidemic (And the 10 Signs You Ignored)"

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Make good choices,

Caitlin & Jenny

P.S. DM us your "Ohhh, THAT’S ADHD?!” moment on Instagram—we’ll share our favorites next episode!

Sources for this episode

• 📖 Articles/Studies:

  • Have We Been Thinking About A.D.H.D. All Wrong? | The New York Times

  • Speaking of Psychology: Why are more adults being diagnosed with ADHD? With Russell Ramsay, PhD | ADA

• 🧠 Instagram Recommendations:

  • @ADHDoers (memes + truths)

  • @coachingwithbrooke (actionable tips)

  • @alex_partridge_100 (founder of UNILAD)

• 💡 5-Second Therapy:

  • "Progress = Wellness" (Caitlin’s mantra for task overwhelm)

Who We Are

Get her book here!

Caitlin Kindred: Recovering teacher, professional overthinker, and mom who finally got diagnosed with ADHD at 38. Host of How to Be a Grownup—where "adulting" is a group project.

Ariella Monti: Author of Roots in Ink, flannel-clad bisexual icon, and mom who registered her car two months late (the ADHD angels spared her).